Why is that I’ve watched almost every romantic comedy ever created and rather than feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside I just end up feeling shitty about myself. Not all the time, sometimes I get really inspired and have this light reignited in myself to live life in a positive and happy light, spreading joy and all that bullshit. But other times, times like tonight, this very moment to be exact I feel downright unfulfilled. This idea that if I’m not loving someone or being loved back then I’m wasting my time is embedded into my head. It’s all very fucked up but I know for a fact that I am not alone in this, which is somewhat comforting. I mean knowing that there are a whole mess of us out here all alone doesn’t change the fact that we are alone but it sure as hell makes it feel less lonely.
These movies just take me to a place where I’m just left wondering,”well damn, why can’t _________ and me get a happy ending” or sometimes we’re even just left asking “why couldn’t I just get an ending”. I have to say I like how Romantic comedies always get a very clear cut ending,there’s rarely any loose ends or unanswered questions. I always hate how I have crushes on people and nothing ever comes from it. In movies your secret crush always comes to light and you get some sort of ending whether that be in the form of rejection, happy ending, or even a revelation where you realize your crush was not who you built them up to be in your head. In the real world however some people go their whole lives without ever expressing how they feel and the crush isn’t given a chance to get its ending. Instead it just lives on in your head cramped between the ideas you have of love and the flaws you know yourself to have. The same flaws you’ve learned to love but aren’t fully convinced anyone else could.
I guess the moral of the story is that we are all scared shitless to be vulnerable and say how we feel. More specifically, I suppose really I’m scared. Oh well I really don’t see that changing anytime soon… this isn’t like an advice piece but more of a solidarity “man why the fuck are we like this post” 😂😂