The following were bits and pieces taken from a hand written letter I wrote (this is not the full letter). The original words are written on a front and back piece of binder paper. That currently reside inside of an envelope somewhre in📍Toronto
I no longer own these words & I no longer feel these feelings but I do hope one day he accomplishes what I hoped he would….
” I write to say goodbye. I don’t hate you, I simply don’t understand you and I don’t think I ever will. I truly and with all of my heart wish nothing but the best for you. I want you to one day be filled with so much happiness you can’t contain it. I want you to feel so confident in your own skin that you help others feel confident in theirs. I want you to act selflessly and do things for others even when they can’t return the favor. I want all these things for you and more becauseI know you are capable of achieving them.I want you to know that I will always remember you very fondly and believe me when I say I won’t forget you . I meant it when I said you made me feel safe, but now it’s time I do that for myself. “
I hate to admit the power that males hold against me. Everything I say and everything I do seems to be done with the intent of being seen. Exactly how much of ourselves is our true authentic selves and how much of it is for entertainment purposes.
I am not afraid to show you my true self, I am simply afraid that you will not care enough to realize the significance in that.
How many times have we not all bared our hearts and souls to another person with the hopes that they would like what they saw. Only to be left standing there like an open wound.
I often wonder how it’s possible to be such a confident person but the minute you start to develop feelings for another person, that confidence is dwindled.
The idea that I am not good enough, That the things I am interested in are somehow not enough to keep someone entertained begin to creep into my head.
How is it possible to maintain my sanity while trying to convince someone to lose theirs over me.
It becomes hard to remember that someones affection and their actions towards us are not an affirmation of our worth. We shine regardless of whether or not they notice.