The following post is one that my friends have been telling me to write for a while now and I’m dedicating it especially for @healthyfitbrowngirls
— For many people the early stages of getting to know someone or “the talking phase”, in which two people text, call, FaceTime, send carrier pigeons, the whole works; all before actually meeting in person can be rather difficult and challenging. Some people thrive at communicating through technology & suck at face to face communication while others are the opposite. If you are one of the lucky few sometimes you are good at both. I’d like to think that as someone who has no problem talking to strangers and have found myself having random conversations with people both in person and through technology (special shout out to tinder) I’ve really gotten a chance to learn what works for me personally. The next time you’re trying to sweep someone of their feet or slide into someone’s DM’s, I hope you can incorporate the following tips into your regular routine. —
There’s really no point in pretending to be someone your not because the person you’re talking to will eventually find out your a fraud when you meet in person. So don’t be a fraud. You want the person you’re talking to like who you are and not who your pretending to be. So talk to them as if they are already a friend and just tell them what your interests are. Don’t worry if you guys don’t have much in common, if the connection is there you don’t always have to have so much in common (I speak from experience). Take it as a learning experience to expose yourself to new things & vice versa teach the person you like about your favorite things.
For the love of god do not overthink this! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve ruined something for myself by being so inside my head, planning my wedding and wondering if he just likes me or like likes me & sees us headed towards something serious. Ughhh like this is not the time to think about these things just have fun & rember this is meant to be the fun stage, so just please try not to stress.
- Keep it honest or keep it moving
Now I’m not saying air out all your dirty laundry, I’m just saying try to be as truthful as you can be (if you have something to hide then maybe you shouldn’t be trying to get to know someone). I associate speaking your mind as being honest so don’t be afraid to share your thoughts and opinions. You have to remember that sometimes the “talking phase” doesn’t go any further than that for some people and that’s okay.
….Now for the fun tips
The early stages requires some sort of laughter to release any sort of awkwardness there might be. If you think about it you’re talking to a stranger and that’s kinda weird, so you gotta laugh at the situation. Clowning on the other person can be a form of being funny but just don’t be mean.
Now you might be asking yourself “why?!…” but you have to keep in mind you haven’t meet the person you are talking to in person yet and more than likely they want to see your cute ass face(also you don’t want to get catfished so be sure you’re sending as well as receiving cute selfies). Send cute pictures of yourself from the waist up ,please hold off on sexting until after you guys actually meet lol. Make sure you cover your bases and take all the classic pictures; pose with a cute animal, take a picture with a baby/child to subliminally hint at the fact that you’re fertile and one day want a family, take a picture of you being active to show you have a life (include friends to show you actually have some), finally pose with delicious food to hint to the fact that the two of you could one day eat delicious food together on a date.
- Compliments are important
If you’re only giving the other person compliments directed towards their physical appearance then you’ve already failed. Especially if you are only trying to slide into someone’s DM’s. You gotta give meaningful compliments folks. It’s all about the details here so make the effort to notice things specific to this person. Ex.) “You’re so nice, i don’t think I’ve met anyone nearly as kind as you”or “when you smile, your whole face lights up & your eyes get all big, it’s cute”.
To show the person you’re talking to that you actually care enough about them to virtually introduce them to your family is very important. Send them pictures of your annoying sibilings, nieces, nephews, second cousins twice removed, anybody; they will feel like they practically already know you and your family. If they don’t want to run away after seeing your crazy family you can now treat them to old embarrassing baby/teen pictures of yourself. Again the purpose is to make them feel like they are already apart of your life so that when you finally do meet in person they feel like they already know so much about you and are comfortable.
You have to remember that you are speaking to someone you like and a potential bae so keep your social media up to date or delete it👏🏽 Can’t tell you the number of times I’ve gone to creep on a guys Instagram only to find out his pictures are not up to date (hasn’t uploaded in 78 weeks) & all the pictures are terrible quality. If you’re going to have social media please give the person you’re talking to some actual good content so they can learn more about you without having to actually ask you. You also should use social media as a means to show the person you like that you have a life and do things (careful not to appear too damn busy though cause then it might seem like you have no time to be talking to anyone).
–Finally If you read through my entire post I commend you for that and hope that my advice works well for you. Just know that at the end of the day I am still single and probably shouldn’t be giving any advice on how to lock down 🔐 a bae lol but nevertheless this is pretty solid advice.